Skill at influencing

This is the 3rd in a series of posts (starting here) on the non-technical challenges of senior software developers.

In a previous post, I described a model of influence. It almost sounds too obvious to say that if you want to have more influence, you should get better at influencing, but this is a surprisingly neglected skill. If you have great ideas but they're not getting traction, chances are this is a key area of growth for you. It's still a growth area for me! 

Although I'm far from an expert influencer, I have learned a few things, and I've witnessed myself and others in various failure modes. Here are some aspects of influence that I've observed—which ones might you want to improve? 

1. Logical argument. At least in engineering, you will have more influence if your arguments make sense and are well-reasoned. If you put forward an idea with a justification that doesn't logically follow, it's much less likely to be accepted. This may seem obvious, but logical argument is a skill, and not everyone is great at it (even engineers)!

2. Writing. Of course, writing is not the only way you influence people. But many companies use RFCs and Design Docs, and this is one way ideas get traction. Writing also helps you sort out your thoughts. Jeff Bezos famously asked for 6-page memos, instead of slide presentations, from his executive team. The ability to lay out your ideas clearly in writing is a key skill for technical advancement.

“Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That's why it's so hard." 

—David McCullough

3. Conciseness. Some rigorous thinkers like to lay out every detail of their thought process for others—as if, having thought it all through, every thought seems important. But verbosity can be a failure mode, especially when talking to executives or other very-senior folks. All thoughts are not equally important, and I'd argue that you're not done thinking something through until you've identified the key ideas that are most important to communicate. (For engineers: communicate breadth-first, not depth-first.) Of course, there is also such a thing as being too concise.

4. Proactiveness. Your ideas don't gain traction in a vacuum, and you often will not have the latitude to pursue them without buy-in from others. If you wait for others to come to you for your ideas, you might be waiting a long time. Share your thoughts with peers and technical leaders.

5. Productive conflict. You need to convince other senior colleagues of your ideas, which will sometimes require arguing with them. Many people shy away from arguments. Other folks come on too strong and alienate others. Productive debate is a skill. There are books that can help with this, like Crucial Conversations.

6. Collaboration. Conflict is just one aspect of collaboration. Often the best ideas come from multiple individuals putting their heads together. If you are too ego-invested in your own ideas (or attached to gaining personal influence), you may miss opportunities to be a part of something even better than what you could have come up with yourself. Rather than simply promoting your ideas, seek feedback from others—or collaborate from the get-go by finding people to brainstorm with.

7. Trust-building. It's extremely hard to have productive conflict or collaboration without a baseline level of trust. Indeed, trust is the foundational currency of interpersonal (including professional) relationships, and therefore of organizational effectiveness. If you're feeling stymied by your colleagues, or there are folks who you feel don't value your input, it might be time to have a crucial conversation about the relationship rather than the ideas.

8. Persistence. Sometimes you have to make your case to someone who is a strong arguer, and it's easy to feel "shot down". When this happens, ask yourself: are you sure this person is trying to shoot you down? Some folks argue forcefully, expecting their colleagues to forcefully argue back. And some folks feel "shot down" and withdraw very easily. If you're one of the latter, consider whether (and in which circumstances) you might want to strengthen your argument and persist instead of backing off.

9. Losing gracefully. Although persistence can be useful, there is also a time to give up and accept that others don't believe your idea was worth prioritizing. Losing gracefully is an important skill: beating dead horses (or worse, sulking) will negatively impact your credibility and influence. Losing gracefully also means that you're not afraid to try again with a different idea later!

I'm sure I haven't covered everything. There are entire books on influence that approach the topic from very different angles. But I've tried to cover some of the success factors (and failure modes) that I've seen in my professional experience. I hope you find some of these ideas useful!